An attempt ....

The desire to write, yet the mind is blank.

Been listening to the old songs... trying to keep myself sane. Yet the depression is too much. Or is it just me?

Playing the life game.

Still blank.

I hate this situation....

That moment in time.....

To blog or not to blog?

I am kind of happy when old blogging friend like Headwind comes by and say hello. The heart yearn to blog, yet there is nothing to blog, just feeling empty inside.

The past few weeks, I had headaches nearly every day. Doctor say it is migraine. Ermm... why now? Even now I am having this pain in the head, like the back of my head is being cut and open.

Maybe I should find the time to blog again. Just write whatever comes..... maybe....

Hey... I am not back yet! Contemplating....

Well maybe if I leave this corporate world, maybe then I will have the time to blog again.....

But then again, maybe it is just excuses....

Arrggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

Arrrggghhhhh!!!!

The other day.....

1) I was going thru a round about. I looked to my right, there was no car, so I went into the roundabout....... suddenly bang! I was sure there was no vehicle on my left.... apparently there was a motorcyclist who went into the round about from my left and cut in front of me.... Poor guy, he does not know what hit him! Serve him right......

2) Being a "victim" or being "responsible"? Anyone wanna share? Will talk about it soon. This topic got to do with a good friend of mine. Lets call him RES. Remind me ok.....

3) I am going into a 5 day training starting tomorrow! Yeah! I finished the basic last month, and I am doing the advance tomorrow! Hopefully in March I can do the Leadership Program. Yeah got to do with my good friend RES! Let us talk about this soon....

4) Met a millionaire and billionaire to be (She is the same person la). She drives a Merc Coupe. Was informed the car cost nearly RM Half a million! Man.... I can never afford that! Anyhow, I was so curious, that I decided to ask her what business she is into. Acting coyly, she says "sex". So my friends, who knows, soon I will be in "sex" business too! Hey KH want to join me do "sex" business in Singapore..???? Come on....

P/S: Will update more soon..... especially on "sex" business..... hehehe..... Who knows I will give income to those thousands that is being laid off.... ermm "laid" off.... Sex... laid... my mind is wondering to where many does not dare to venture!!!!!

LOVE

After living for so many many years, I learn that we came to this world alone, and we will leave it alone...... Oh what does this got to do with the topic? Nothing, just me pulling the legs of KH, she hates LOVE! ( Or actually deep down inside her, she harbors the feeling, needs and cherish LOVE?).

I am writing about life.... yeah my life.... how I found it and got lost... over n over again. Today dont mind my England and writing... it is what comes into my mind. I want to dabble, rumble and nibble what ever is on my mind.....

So back to myself. This was what I learn prior to 2009 :
1) All things u feel is because of u!
2) All things happened to u is because of u!

On the topic of all things I feel is because of me! Let me elaborate ....
See, if I am sad or happy or mad or whatever la I am feeling, it is because of me.
For example, I was sad, some (lots of) friends lost their job last month. I stopped being sad, and focus on helping them in small ways. Give them encouragement, help find jobs, hulur some dough where needed.... and this month most of them are back on their feet! Yeah!
I was mad, because my lady friend could not understand me, and wanted to kill herself. For the first time, I decided to stop being mad, and all is well.... (At least for now, until the next cycle.... Awooooooooo Awoooooo, waiting for the full moon).
So, I realised, I cant control others and how they feel, but I can control mine. I am learning.... to control how I feel.... and I think it will be fun.....

The next topic, all happened to me is because of me! Ermm this is tough, let me try to make some sense....
Most (lots 0f) my friends were retrenched, but not me, even though I am the most likely candidate... as company rule, last in first out. Yet I was not, cause I work to make sure I was not. My lady friend felt or did what she wanted to do, because I she thinks I caused her to feel that way, and in a way I was doing things purposely to pissed her off, so serves me right!
I woke up feeling good or lousy, cause I want it to be. Or I loose money today, because I let it happen. Or the train knocked me down later today, because I was not being careful enough! So what if a boat rammed into u in the middle of a busy highway? Is that my (your) fault too? Yes it is..... whatever happen to us is our fault, and whatever happen to someone else it is their fault! Hehehe... confusing..... let me learn myself some more, maybe next time I can tell it in a better way. Mean while, those that agree with my rambling today may give comments, those that do not agree, can say it somewhere else!!!!

Hehehe.... it is not my fault what happen to u..... I am only responsible for myself. The way I feel and what ever happen to me.....

Have a wonderful day my frens!!! My lovely frens.......