What is a birthday?

I have reached a number that I tot, I wud have never reached, ever since I was 15. Well, I have surpassed my expiry date..... thats great?

Lets looked what happened to me since 2009.

Riding high in the corporate world in 2010. Only to be humbled.....

Lost my job late 2010. Still jobless till today. Now dont think that I have been sitting gracefully on my butt! I have been running around haggard, starting some food business. Failed or semi-cheated. He he he.... semi-cheated is a word I coined, after feeling being cheated by "partners" that do not have the intention to cheat u in business. But their action reflects so. Example: U invested some money and time to start the business. They even call u partner. But when the income is passed breaking even, suddenly, your partner do not remember, they have a partner.... I am left out cold.
So I have been some sort of consultant. And for about a year, actually working as a hard labor. It was a humbling experience. Burned under the hot sun, and drenched wet in the stormy rain. I was even a beach bum for about a month! Ooh some experience I got. Actually sitting and watching a couple making love on the beach a mere 5 meters away, passed midnite. And who says there is no topless sunbather in Malaysia? Not the type that lay flat on their belly, with their boobs hidden. This one actually flaunted her asset with her escort beside her....... Too bad, I do not have a clear picture. But here it is .....Still piecing up together what shit left is of me. At this golden age, even my shits has value.

On a brighter note, I fell in love on line. Not for the first time, but this one, got overboard, and went into my private life. Now am I in a mess? Lets see, so far I am happy....

An attempt ....

The desire to write, yet the mind is blank.

Been listening to the old songs... trying to keep myself sane. Yet the depression is too much. Or is it just me?

Playing the life game.

Still blank.

I hate this situation....

That moment in time.....

To blog or not to blog?

I am kind of happy when old blogging friend like Headwind comes by and say hello. The heart yearn to blog, yet there is nothing to blog, just feeling empty inside.

The past few weeks, I had headaches nearly every day. Doctor say it is migraine. Ermm... why now? Even now I am having this pain in the head, like the back of my head is being cut and open.

Maybe I should find the time to blog again. Just write whatever comes..... maybe....

Hey... I am not back yet! Contemplating....

Well maybe if I leave this corporate world, maybe then I will have the time to blog again.....

But then again, maybe it is just excuses....

Arrggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

Arrrggghhhhh!!!!

The other day.....

1) I was going thru a round about. I looked to my right, there was no car, so I went into the roundabout....... suddenly bang! I was sure there was no vehicle on my left.... apparently there was a motorcyclist who went into the round about from my left and cut in front of me.... Poor guy, he does not know what hit him! Serve him right......

2) Being a "victim" or being "responsible"? Anyone wanna share? Will talk about it soon. This topic got to do with a good friend of mine. Lets call him RES. Remind me ok.....

3) I am going into a 5 day training starting tomorrow! Yeah! I finished the basic last month, and I am doing the advance tomorrow! Hopefully in March I can do the Leadership Program. Yeah got to do with my good friend RES! Let us talk about this soon....

4) Met a millionaire and billionaire to be (She is the same person la). She drives a Merc Coupe. Was informed the car cost nearly RM Half a million! Man.... I can never afford that! Anyhow, I was so curious, that I decided to ask her what business she is into. Acting coyly, she says "sex". So my friends, who knows, soon I will be in "sex" business too! Hey KH want to join me do "sex" business in Singapore..???? Come on....

P/S: Will update more soon..... especially on "sex" business..... hehehe..... Who knows I will give income to those thousands that is being laid off.... ermm "laid" off.... Sex... laid... my mind is wondering to where many does not dare to venture!!!!!

LOVE

After living for so many many years, I learn that we came to this world alone, and we will leave it alone...... Oh what does this got to do with the topic? Nothing, just me pulling the legs of KH, she hates LOVE! ( Or actually deep down inside her, she harbors the feeling, needs and cherish LOVE?).

I am writing about life.... yeah my life.... how I found it and got lost... over n over again. Today dont mind my England and writing... it is what comes into my mind. I want to dabble, rumble and nibble what ever is on my mind.....

So back to myself. This was what I learn prior to 2009 :
1) All things u feel is because of u!
2) All things happened to u is because of u!

On the topic of all things I feel is because of me! Let me elaborate ....
See, if I am sad or happy or mad or whatever la I am feeling, it is because of me.
For example, I was sad, some (lots of) friends lost their job last month. I stopped being sad, and focus on helping them in small ways. Give them encouragement, help find jobs, hulur some dough where needed.... and this month most of them are back on their feet! Yeah!
I was mad, because my lady friend could not understand me, and wanted to kill herself. For the first time, I decided to stop being mad, and all is well.... (At least for now, until the next cycle.... Awooooooooo Awoooooo, waiting for the full moon).
So, I realised, I cant control others and how they feel, but I can control mine. I am learning.... to control how I feel.... and I think it will be fun.....

The next topic, all happened to me is because of me! Ermm this is tough, let me try to make some sense....
Most (lots 0f) my friends were retrenched, but not me, even though I am the most likely candidate... as company rule, last in first out. Yet I was not, cause I work to make sure I was not. My lady friend felt or did what she wanted to do, because I she thinks I caused her to feel that way, and in a way I was doing things purposely to pissed her off, so serves me right!
I woke up feeling good or lousy, cause I want it to be. Or I loose money today, because I let it happen. Or the train knocked me down later today, because I was not being careful enough! So what if a boat rammed into u in the middle of a busy highway? Is that my (your) fault too? Yes it is..... whatever happen to us is our fault, and whatever happen to someone else it is their fault! Hehehe... confusing..... let me learn myself some more, maybe next time I can tell it in a better way. Mean while, those that agree with my rambling today may give comments, those that do not agree, can say it somewhere else!!!!

Hehehe.... it is not my fault what happen to u..... I am only responsible for myself. The way I feel and what ever happen to me.....

Have a wonderful day my frens!!! My lovely frens.......

Common Sense - Case Study II

Is this true, what I am thinking? Tell me ok.....

Due to this car maker, more than 20 years ago, we Malaysian, can no longer purchase medium end automobiles at medium price!

After 20 years:

1) They still produce lemons. Sorry... they are producing better cars... but maybe 20% better than when they started... while other cars have evolved by leaps and bounds. Dont believe me, take a look at Honda City and Toyota Corolla 20 years ago and their equivalent model and compare it now!

2) They create plenty of jobs. Wow! But at the expense of around 50,000 people every month buying "cheap" but expensive cars. It looks cheap because we have to pay extra tax for imports models. The best part is, the same car is cheaper when we sell overseas! (Does not make sense! We Malaysian have to pay more locally, and we export better quality cars but lower price than local!) Now, there are in the news that the high end of this model, seems to be expensive to maintained.... that some state government is or going to change to more affordable Japanese models!

I am just pondering.....

a) If we have not embark on this national car, I think we all will be driving safer and cheaper medium end cars.... of course imported models, which will make some people jump on me saying that I am not patriotic.. .but hold on and read some more....
b) Look at the good side of more employment.... am I wrong to say, that actually if this national car was not born, the same numbers of jobs still exist, accept it is in the foreign (imported) car local industry... There will still be assembly plants for the imported models.... showrooms... etc.
c) Economically better with our own national car?? Ermm... I think we, Malaysian, have enough of subsidizing this national car! After 20 years, I am no longer proud of it's achievement. Sometimes I wonder... what achievement? Yeah I am driving one, not because of anything, but I can't afford the imported models... which if this car does not exist, I will be able to afford one. Am I making sense?
d) Is this national car a mistake? I think so. Look at the other national car, it seems there are doing a little bit better. Yet, I still believe, all national cars are not a good venture, after all, our population is (only) 26 million(Including the legal and illegal foreigners)! If it is really a mistake, can we please apologize and correct the mistake?
e) After 20 years, do this car still need government protection? Why not keep it as a memento, but let it be competitive with the other imported brand? Yes some smart Alex will say, other countries are protecting their automobile market too.... but look at how they do it. Better technology, advance machineries, superb handling... etc.

I think....

1) We should have a national product, but less ambitious than a national car. Some countries, make superb watches, or knives or electronic gadgets... etc. It still create a great economy and plenty of jobs. Be competitive in the global market. Better product should be sold to Malaysians, not sold cheaper to other countries and subsidize by local sales, which actually mean local are getting lemons and paying a bomb!
2) I love Malaysia, that is why I am writing this. let your common sense prevail. Just to look good, and you make your country men suffer? Yes, so many will argue, of all the great things that this national car have achieved (I wonder what? After 20 years, it managed to developed its own engine..... bravo.... to me it is like saying a chimpanzee managed to make it's own basic fishing rod, whereas, fishing rods maker nowadays have developed better and more sophisticated rods.)

My humble apology to those that still do not have common sense. Let all the bigotry be put aside. Have an open mind to all the possibilities to make each every moment much better in our beloved country Malaysia. Lets start to have some common sense.....

Common sense - Case Study 1.

Yeah I have very little common sense..... but much more than some people.

Malaysia have the highest fatal accident rates involving motorcycles. Common sense says we have to focus on:
a) Machine - the motorcycle itself. We want safe motorcycles on the roads.
b) Man (Riders & pillions) - Responsible, understanding and educated in the ethics of riding motorcycles.

If we can only make everyone understand, small motorcycles compared to the bigger (in size and engine capacity) are more dangerous. Therefore, smaller motorcycles should not be allowed on the highways. Yes there will be argument that says small bikes can be fast on highways. I agree. Last week I was driving at 120 km/hr, and a small bike of 110 cc overtook me!

Want to know why it is dangerous? As these small motorcycles are modified to go faster, but it is difficult to make them safer. At 120 km/hr, no way in an emergency that small motorcycle can stop immediately or abruptly without it loosing control!

I am for the people high up to reduce the tax tariff on bigger motorcycle so that it is affordable for most people. So that we can have more bigger safer motorcycles on the road.

Focus on the education and training of riders are utmost important. Motorcycle giants like Yamaha, Honda, Kawasaki and the rest should take the initiative to educate riders using advertisements, campaign, seminars and on the road trainings and guides on safe riding. Safe riding is not about riding the motorcycles slowly, but to know one's limit.

There are more to it, but I would like remind myself and everyone, have some common sense in our everyday life. Make it beautiful and safe for you, and for everyone!! Have a great riding experience!

Loans and Friends.

Which is more important to you? Money or friendship/relationship?

Throughout my life, I have given some loans to my friends and relatives from time to time. I am not a rich person, thus the reason I am giving my view on this matter.

From my personal experience, only 30% of the loans taken by my friends/relatives are paid back to me. This put me in a very grave position as financial is concern.

I come to a conclusion that whenever a friend/relative ask for a loan, whatever the amount, I will ask myself, how much am I willing/I can afford to GIVE them? Thus I will give that amount and nothing more. So when they did not pay, I do not really feel the pain.

Lately my life is getting better. I am loosing none of my friends/relatives.

Marking Territory.

I was having breakfast the other day. Ordered "hot lemon" and "Tosai". Sat at a corner, waiting for the order.

I was actually bored, caused I can't surf or read my mail on my blackberry as the battery was nearly flat. So I was actually looking around that "Mamak" restaurant. My mind wandering. Ermm... Not so clean. A little bit efficient. The usual.

Suddenly thru the corner of my eyes, I noticed a cat walking by the payment counter. Something normal, have seen that scene so many times before. Nothing special.

Then suddenly, as the cat was passing by the bread stacks it peed!

It was actually marking it's territory!

Now suddenly I dont feel like eating bread for sometime. In fact my mind is thinking what else or where else does cats peed? Never mind.....

Just thinking out loud.

Why not close a giant factory producing cars, because we are afraid that a few thousand people may loose their job?
The way I see it..... because of this factory, car prices went up more than 20 years ago. We are hoodwink into buying cheaper cars, which is substandard, and the one exported are actually of better quality and cheaper! And to save these people's job, more than 50 thousand rakyat every month must purchase this actually relatively expensive cars! For example the high maintenance of these cars as proven by some local government expenditures and budgets.....

Why are they so many cupcai on the highway?
Ermm... because it is a cheaper way in means of transport.... But are lives cheaper? How many fatalities everyday of this cupcai riders? Why should be bigger cc bike so expensive? Afterall they are more safer on highways....

There will be more whys.... and next time maybe I will elaborate more.... just my 2 cents worth of thinking.

Looking for my love.....

You know I have always been looking for my love. Those sexy curves..... voluptuous body....




Man if I can get my hands on those..... the euphoria.

I have been dreaming all my life.... to be able to get what I really wanted......

Ermmm it will only be a dream.....

All that I ever afford was a Vulcan.... and a 500 Vulcan!!! I cant even afford an 800 Vulcan!!!!

Yeah I was talking about the bike!!! What were you thinking I was talking about???

Note: Thanks to Viviana Gallo for using her picture. P/S: I hope u dont mind.

It is good to be back to work... what work?

Monday .. darn bloody Monday. Or is it black Monday?

Whatever it is, I am not that happy. Have been in a foul mood for over a week. Tried to overcome this nasty feelings, but it just get me down.

List of my grievances:

1) Lost the keys to my bike. Ermm maybe I will take some pics of me and my bike....

2) People dont understand me, or is it I dont understand people.

3) I am lost at work. Maybe I have been lost most of my time at work. But this time, I am ridiculously lost!

4) Over the weekend saw a monkey and wild cat got hit on the road. Guess these wild animals are lost like me. Will I get hit on the highway of life?

5) Pay cut! It hurts...

6) Love hurts....

7) Lots of broken promises.....

But again... is there a silver lining I am beginning to see... over the horizon??? Ermm maybe....

This life (whatever is left) must goes on....

I am back... gone.. and back again.....

Now I am lost.

Dear Policeman

I think there are a few things that we should not be doing while driving. One of them is on your cell phone while driving. You should also put on your seat belt. Soon even the back passengers will be mandatory to put on seat belts. And of course, one should not be driving faster than the speed limit.

So, these are the three things that I think all of us should follow the rules by the relevant authority. Of course there are more....

It is just that I am a little peeved, cause a few times, with my own eyes, I saw our policeman breaking their own rules that they should uphold.

Talking on the cell phone without hands free while in the squad car! I have seen personally at least once. I was wondering why the squad car was driving slowly yet not so erratically swaying to left and right. By the time I passed the squad car, which I have to pass on the left side, as it was hogging the fast lane, I can see the driver holding his cell phone to his ear without hands free! Well must be his wife on the phone.....

How many times any of us has seen the occupants of our police squad car not using seat belts? I have seen so many times. One time I read in the newspaper, where a citizen complained about the police not using seat belts yet summoning the normal citizen that may have forgotten to put it on. I cannot remember which high ranking officer took the liberty to answer in the newspaper. His common sense in answering the question was that his officers do not use the seat belts because it was hindering them to take quick action if they should need to react fast on emergencies. Ermmm ?

Driving faster than the speed limit. Yes I agree in the line of duty, of course they should be driving as fast as they can. But I have seen squad cars driven more than the speed limits on the highways, without it's siren blaring or the lights on. Which to say, they were no emergency, yet they drove more than the speed limit.

So I wonder, why the double standard? So many answers came to my mind. But one stick on my mind. We human, when in authority, we fail to see our own mistakes, yet we can see every detail of the mistakes of others......

What you say?

Reborn!

What seems to be eternity, is now here.

Maybe I am back? I am not so sure. But these itchy fingers are keen to write again.

Yeah have been missing all of you my dear old friends! Looking forward to make new friends.

Wish me luck.

The day the music died......

Hi all, its unfortunate that I have been really busy. So I have come to a conclusion to suspend this blog until further notice. It is not fair, that I have not been reading your blogs and have not been able to reply your comments.

However, I am still reachable thru my email dade_ghost@yahoo.com and my Facebook, look for Dade Hantu. I dont know why Facebook does not approve the name Dade Ghost. I will be in Facebook from time to time.

I hope to come back blogging actively again soon. Meanwhile, please do keep in touch.

I will definitely miss you all here. I really do.....

Cheers. Have a wonderful life people!

P/S: KH join Facebook la.

What a beginning!

2008 has only begun. But it has been rather exciting. However, I feel really bad that I have not been updating my blog. I am further upset that I have not been able to visit my friends blog due to my hectic schedule....... and partly Facebook is to blame! KH sorry.... can you join facebook... so that I can disturb you everyday like usual.

Work front, I am enjoying my new work. I am starting from scratch here. No permanent place yet, yeah actually squatting on some peoples table. But what is important, they gave me a notebook! I can be online.... Hey, they are sending me overseas next week... Really looking forward.

Life front, no movie marathon for a while. Sorry did not have time to update my last marathon, but I think I saw another batch of six movies..... I have been going back home earliest 8 pm daily, and a couple of time beyond 12 midnite. I still have to serve six months of probation at my new work place.

Love front, she is avoiding me. Intentionally, saying I got to concentrate on my new job for MY future, NOT OUR future! Life can indeed be a HUGE test!

Overall, I am please with how 2008 has started for me. A pleasant windfall have fallen on me. Looking forward for more.

My prayers to all my friends that life will be much better for all of us. Till the next time.

A short update.

Well I am on a short break before I resume work in 2008. Have been keeping myself busy playing in Facebook.

Yeah have been busy watching movies too..... on Astro and DVD's. Will update more soon, I hope.

Was on a couple of short holiday trips. Will update some pictures.

Been also attending some funerals.....

Will be attending a wedding tomorrow....

Apologize for not updating and visiting your blogs. I hope will find the time at my new job......

Last, have a great time people, but take care not to be involved in any untoward incidents.

Marathon Man.

Guess what? I think I watched not less than 5 movies.... yeah my mind is dull due to watching a marathon of movies over the weekend.

Let me try to recall the movies..... Hey do not expect me to remember the title or the leading characters.... hehehe... that is my weakness.... My memory is kaput...

1) I think it started when a man sat a bus stop. He saw a man about to kill a pregnant lady. He tried saving the lady. He even helped the lady deliver a baby, while shooting out with the bad guy....

The lady died, and the journey begins for him and the baby. It was about a crooked business man and a politician manipulating people to achieve their dream.

My rating it is just an ok movie. Watch out for the scene when he was making love, simultaneously shooting out with the bad guys.... and his partner climaxed! Hehehe...

2) 2nd movie about this killer. One bad tough huge dude. He was betrayed and his love life was killed by his own gang.

Served his sentence and bent on revenge. He was very focus. For a slow poke, well he was pictured as not bright, he does focus and planned well.

The thing that the movie was so obviously trying to tell is how, misunderstanding and miscommunication, can easily happened and result in devastating effect. In this story how the gangs that was controlling the drugs in that city actually wiped out each other....

I rate this movie as ok.

3) This movie was about the dragons. The story line was a little bit different, and taken from the folklore of Korea.

Awesome graphics for the battle scenes. A little bit sad. Very bad acting. My rating, it barely make it to ok. If your really are bored then watch this movie.

4) This one is about the walking dead. A man rescuing a lady in distress (whats new?). Lady supposedly have a cure to the zombie disease.

Very bad story line. Very bad acting. Waste of my time. This is definitely a B rated movie!

5) This movie also barely make it to the "ok" category. It gaves me a few laugh. I can say that this one is a little bit weird. Imagine what the game ping pong got to do with espionage?

Well as it is a comedy movie, it pulls thru. For those that loves funny movies, this can be considered a good movie. The cast was not so well known, except for Christoper Walken. Anybody seen or remember Chris in the movie "Deer Hunter"? "Deer Hunter" is a great ever movie!

6) Hey I actually watched more than 5 movies! It was a marathon.... and I aim to do that again during the long holidays this weekend! Yeaaaaaah!

This movie is a Thai movie. I think those who like fighting scenes, drama, relationship kind of story line, should see this movie. I easily picked this movie as the best for this week!

It is a story about friendship, how 3 friends from the "backwaters" try to make it in Bangkok. How two of them sacrifies for one of them to make it in the world. One even sacrifies his own love....

It is a fighting story, when most scene are good fighting cheoragraphy. Not as good as "Ong Bak", but still great.

It is an underworld movie in Bangkok. Be ready for some brutal killings and gory scenes. No nudity.... hehehe....

It is a very good relationship story. Story about sacrifices and what seems to be betrayal. There was even some romantic scenes.

It is a sad movie. I am not ashame to say I shed some tears.... Usually only Hindi movies can make me cry.... That is why I have not seen Hindi Movie for quiet sometime.

That is all folks for movie review this week. Hopefully more soon.

P/S: This is for Kuzz and all my friends. Watching those movies makes me want to write this paragraph. What I have written in this blog pertaining to my job have been true, accept for one thing. I was not FIRED! I resigned, as I got a better offer. Wish me luck people. Thanks for your understanding and support. Forgive me if any of you are pissed off due to my lie.....

Di Malam Syahdu Mengapai Pelangi.

Mana bintang dan binatang?
Aku lupa gersikan malam
Di situ aral melintang
Impian kini karam.

Hujan rebah membanjiri danau
Melimpah ruah batasan ranjau
Jiwa lemah penuh kacau
Membikin ilmiah fikiran yang sasau!

Mana pelangi?
Di malam sepi....
Mengapai mimpi...
Tanpa mentari
Di malam syahdu ini
Pelangi telah pergi!

Peka ruhani kekeciwaan
Membusut satu harapan
Kecundang menjadi lawan
Meluap sebutir perasaan.

Tunggu sejenak
Hasutan api berpihak
Ada kala tersentak
Perasaan membengkak.

Tunggu lagi
Di malam syahdu ini
Kita mengapai pelangi
Mustahil tidak berperi.