You sure or not?

Was so tired yesterday. Slept early. But somehow it was a restless night.

Maybe I was not happy yesterday, cause I envy most of you that was on holiday!

Woke up as usual. Somehow, I felt today is a Monday!

You sure or not? I am so bloody sure today is Monday@@!!!! Nothing seems right. From the time I woke up, took my shower, everything points to that today is MONDAY! Black Monday.....

Went to my first meeting at 8 am. I prayed that I will not be grumpy and spoiled the meeting. Turns out ok. Better than expected. But still I feel today is Monday.

Second meeting at 10 am was with the consultants. Reached there on time. Two of my staff did not turn up! Stucked in another meeting. Because today is Monday, I am controlling my foul mood. Surprisingly, I even made jokes in the meeting with the consultants......

Somehow I still feel today is Monday...... You sure or not? Yes I am sure.......

Punah Karisma

Pada tika saat ini
Lautan badai bertiti
Detik perit hati
Hancur mengilap seri.

Mana bisa racun dusta?
Meragut denyut maya
Merintih pedih seketika
Bergegas panah asmara.

Namun masih ada
Lamunan Karisma
Ternoda di ranjang fana
Tersirat gelap gelita.

Persis di mata badai
Sebutan lemah longlai
Tertiarap terkulai
Mercu tanda kalimah
Bangun dari kerenah
Membelah hati punah.

Halilintar bergema syahdu
Halusnya hati merayu
Terbiar kelu kaku
Ratapan yang usang
Mahligai sepi gersang
Hayat terlepas pandang......

Learning Bahasa Malaysia.

I am perturb, that I actually do not know a lot of words in Bahasa Malaysia! I think it is different than Bahasa Melayu...... Someone that is knowledgeable on this matter can enlighten me please....

So for today, I hope some of us can learn a new word :

Gesper : Buckle; device through which a belt or strap is threaded to secure it.

How many of us actually knows the Bahasa Malaysia word for buckle is actually "gesper"?

I hope to find more Bahasa Malaysia words to learn and share with all of us.

Have a great Monday!

The Presentation

Just a short one today.

Yesterday, we were called by MAIWP to do a presentation. No I was not pissed off that we were made to wait for three hours before we actually presented. Not to mention, spending more than one and half hour loitering outside the meeting room before someone thoughtful gave us some chairs for us to sit.

No, I was not pissed off.

Then the presentation itself.

It may not be the best. My respect to the chairperson. But the audience, ermm I am taken aback! Some of the language used should have not been use. It was a formal presentation! Don't we all know, for strangers, we are judge by first impression, and then by what comes out off our mouth....(my term either it is gold or frog)...

With all the silliness of the adults and colorful insults to discredit a human being....

No, I was still not pissed off.

You want to know, what pissed me off?

The charade....

It reminds me years ago.... no matter what department you are from.. the bottom line....

How much is it for me?

Sad but true. Now that pissed me off!

You make my day!

CASE I

I had a meeting in Precint II Putrajaya at PJH. After the meeting I wanted to go to the Immigration Department to meet up a friend. I went to the security desk for direction.

This was what I remembered he told me, it is on the opposite road, beside the Ministry of Finance. So I went to the parking lot to my car. From there I can see the MOF. Not so far I thought.

So I start walking. The weather was so hot at 2:30 pm. Crossed the road at the traffic light, I am already at the wing of MOF. By the time I reached the far end of MOF I realised the MOF building is actually very long.

To my surprise, the next building to MOF is still under construction. Well perhaps it is the next building I thought. So I walked some more. The next building is the same. Something wrong I told myself.

I finally reached the next junction of traffic lights. What I can see the building beside the traffic light, if I am not mistaken (yes I cannot remember names easily) is Kementerian Perusahaan or Hal Ehwal Dalam Negeri, but not Immigration!

So I walked back to my car. By that time I called up my friend to say that I am turning back and will meet some other day. As it turns out my friend was done at the immigration and asked me to wait by the roadside to give me a lift back to my car.

By that time I was perspiring so much. It was so hot. I was so thirsty. I did not wait and walked to my car. That day I drank one whole young coconut plus one 7 up at one go....... It cooled me. But I felt like an asshole that day.


CASE II

Went to the night market to buy some food. Saw some traders selling football jerseys. Saw one that I fancied. Asked how much? It was only for RM 20. I really like the Arsenal jersey. So I tried it on. Looks nice and fits comfortably.

The trader then confirmed the purchase. I remembered he told me, "Ok bang, saya bagi yang baru." He quickly took one that is still plastic wrapped and put it in a plastic bag. I paid and I left to buy foods.

Reached my pad, and was eager to look at my new jersey. It was the same color, but it was not Arsenal! Damn.... do I feel like an asshole!


CASE III

I was driving from Batu Caves towards Kepong. Driving within the speed limit but at the third fast lane.

As I was just about to take over a car, apparently driven by a lady. There was another red car car in-front of hers. Then suddenly without any indication or warning, she went into my lane.

I guess it was a fool's reaction, I swerved to avoid her, then braked, my car skidded, bang the railings. The railing broked and pierced the side portion of my car. Instantly I was killed!

No.. no, that was not what actually happened. It was a fool's reaction, I did swerved to avoid her, braked like mad, narrowly missed the railing. Man... you should see how my hands and leg trembled....

And the best part is, she just drove off. Oblivious that she nearly killed someone. IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST MAM, I am pleading you to stop killing your fellow drivers. Thank you.

I am an ASSHOLE!

The Short Break

It was planned as 3 days 2 nights getaway. At the last minute, it was changed to a 2 days 1 night affair.

I am disappointed, but that is work. We just follow order. So up to the bosses to change schedules at their wimps and fancy…..

Drove down to Awana Kijal. I have always loved traveling, especially on my own. So the 3 ½ hours drive from Kuala Lumpur was wonderful. With the new highway, it was smooth all the way until Kuantan.

From Kuantan to Kijal is still the state road, traveling thru the villages. I do not usually drive fast, but this time, I just drove fast even when I went thru Chukai. There are some changes to the road and route. Signboards were not sufficient. At least once I missed a junction.

My first time to Awana Kijal. Yes it is as beautiful and nice as everyone has said it would be. There is something for everyone.

Sunrise in Awana Kijal.

One can rest in the banana garden......

Huge swimming pool. Kids and adults will have lots of fun there. Hehehe.. I do not swim, so I just watched.

Beautiful beach. Beware of the waves. It looks menacing. I grew up in the west coast we do not have waves that huge and menacing. Lots of water sports activities one can choose from.

I kind of like this picture....

Of course they have the game room, the giant chess and snake and ladder!

Entrance to the sauna, especially for the ladies.

But the most famous is the golf course. As I am not a golfer, I dare not say anything much, accept that the course looks green and well taken care off! Judging by the way our Chairperson is smiling, it must be a great course…..

Will I go there again?…… well maybe…. Somehow I compare it to London. Hehehe…. Too expensive for normal salaried people like me.

Mistaken Identity.

It was at night, even with the lights on, I was not sure what it was.

We were at the "Kandang Kambing" and decided to stay overnight. As it was already late, I went to one of the hut to take some matresses for us to sleep on.

As I was just about to take the matress, I realised something has made holes in it, and the foams werestrewn all over the floor. Two more mattreses needed to be burn.

Just when I was about to pull the matress away, I thought it was a big rat that scuttles away. It jolted me a little. Went out off the hut, to give sometime for the rat family to find its way to another home.

30 minutes later, I went back to pick up the hole infested matress to be burn. Was pulling one up, when there was a movement that jolted me again. I dont really like those big rats!

What the heck, I just picked up the matress and took it out to my friends. Yes we thought it was a big rat. The thing was in the mattress, running in it! One of my friends took a stick and beat the poor "rat" to death.

I thought that was it. And went to the hut to pick up the other mattress with one big hole. Then I heard a shrieking sound. Holy cow, that rat leaves her babies behind. At least that was what went thru my mind.

I groped thru the hole in the mattress. First I found one baby. It was quite. Then another shrieking sound! It seems there is one other baby that has wondered off to the edge of the mattress. Managed to get it out. I found only two babies........

Now what to do with these two orphans? I do not really like rats remember? Eventhough I use to have at least 50 hamsters, but rats, still give me the creeps......

Out off guilt, I pries open the other mattress where their mother was bludgeon to death. Behold, it was a mistaken identity. I really felt so lousy then!


These are the two orphans. Anybody wants them? Do not worry another friend is fending them now. At least they were receptive to being feed with tin milk....... Better call up my friend to see how the orphans are doing......

Hip Hop

Dear Mr. Jackal
Did I miss you today?
Did you miss your way?
Did you see me fall?

Yesterday was then
When I was lost
Today is a pretend
Emerging as a ghost.

Wondering tick tock
Hip hop hip hop
Down the rock
Flip flop flip flop.

Walking round the clock
Tick tock tick tock
What a beautiful frock
A handsome prince of frog?

The conversation

Last night had our usual "lepak" time with the old boys. These friends grew up with me since we were 12 years old. We meet once in a while, like every other month. I reached there first. Then came H who is actually the homosexual in our group.

H has always been at ease with us, as we accepted him as he is. H even made jokes that his "wife" passed away everytime an outsider asked about his marital status.

Well it was kind of sad for me, sitting there watching him. Actually he is sick. I am not sure but his last partner seems to passed him an uncurable disease. Yup he is dying slowly..... but that is not what I want to write today. Maybe someday I will write about H.

We were talking about our school days. And H was telling how he missed his partner then. Lets call him G. Apparently, the partner he was referring to is now actually gone straight, with a wife and kids! So as we were on this subject, we talked about him and his conquest.....

When talking about it, I realised that there is something "sick" about it all. G was molested at the age of 6 by his own relative. So here is the list of G's conquest in our humble school.

a) Molested by G at the age of 13. Now he is married to a beautiful lady. A not so succesful business man. Looks secure, but actually very unstable. Nothing much is known about his marriage.

b) Molested by G at the age of 13. Passed away at the age of 18. Got drunk and drowned in UK.

c) Molested by G at the age of 13. Now an architect. Having an affair with one Dato. He is actually married, but more for convenient sake. Poor wife is suffering.

d) Molested by G at the age of 13. Now a fail business man. Still with his wife and has beautiful kids.

e) G lover, H. They broke of at the age of 15. H is now slowly dying.

f) Molested by G at the age of 16. Heard not married, having a stable job, somewhere in the Southern State.

g) Lover at the age of 16. He is now last heard in Australia. Most probably has changed gender.

h) Lover at the age of 17. He is an engineer with the government. Still not married.

8 kids were involved with G. Some molested some lovers. Well at least that was the story told by H. As I recalled, it might be true. As we were once, one crazy bunch of lost kids ......

I remembered those crazy seniors of ours..... at least 50% of them were experimenting with sex of the same kind. Most graduated to sex with the opposite gender. But some, still trapped until now.

I have treated them as friends from the beginning. Yet, I do feel the pain now, for those that have gone thru the molesting phase. They were young..... but who is to blame??? If not ourself!

Going out off town next week.

I was hoping to go to Labuan last month or this month, but looks like it will not happen so fast afterall. Now that I am confirmed to go to Trengganu next week, I am a little bit happy. I am tired of this working like a dog scenerio.

(Would love to go Phuket or Bandung, but just could not afford it yet! And it is sad, I have never been to those places..... )

So even going to Trengganu sounds fun. Will be driving there. So I will have lots of time to myself, alone. My mind can wanders off to another dream land. I really need the break from all these madness.

It is supposedly a working trip, but I already made arrangement with our Chairperson Dato, to have the meeting at nights, and leaves the day open to our own activities.

The Dato love to golf, but I do not really enjoy it. The Dato has been pestering me to play golf, but even betting at RM10 a hole, I am bound to loose RM 180 a flight. Two flights a day.... man that is RM 360! A small amount for the Dato, but will surely burn my pocket!

Maybe I just relax by the beach. Enjoy the sunset. Watch the fishermen and fishes. Yeah maybe take some pics......


P/S: To all the secretaries, have a wonderful secretary week!

******************** Wasteland *******************

Hives of intrinsic value
Floundering of undesired
Triumph without a clue
False desires and pride

Cringe on anonymous silliness
Barren the land we stand
Laughter in the darkness
Mongering the ravaged land

Thus who is free?
But not thee
Heart of our homeland
Free amongst friends

Why fight when you can flee?
Surrender to the avalanche
Doom in the 7^th degree
Survival in the dreaded clan

Oh monsters of heaven!
Done with your sinister plot?
Leaving me unrepentant
With tears of an old clot

Burn the chariot of clover
Relinquish power of the pauper
None but the carefree minister
In a dull senseless character
Mundane to the initial disaster
Behold the exquisite prankster!

Visiting The Hospital Is Becoming The Routine.

Yesterday went to the hospital to visit an uncle who is in the ICU due to the colon cancer. He had a major operation on Wednesday to take out one foot of his big stomach. So I figure yesterday was a good day to visit, so that he can rest and recuperate.

On the way it reminds me of my auntie who had the same operation about two months ago. Actually she was supposedly to undergo the operation much earlier, but it has to be postponed as the doctors found out that her heart has some blockage. Three arteries if I am not mistaken.

So they had to send her to IJN and have her heart repaired. Then when she had recovered, they had the surgery to remove her colon cancer. I did not asked to what extent her intestine or stomach was taken out. I do not know, but hearing those stories makes my guts turns upside down. (Hehehe... I wanted to be a hired killer at one time. Funny to think that a hired killer can be effected adversely by the sight of blood or something gory! I guess that is why I never pursue that career.)

Thank Allah almighty, she is well now, and actually left the hospital three days after the surgery. So I was comparing the situation. My auntie, went to a government hospital, and she left after three days. My uncle went to a private hospital, and he is still in ICU! Erm... all those double standard ideas rushed to my head.


So, when I reached the hospital where my uncle is, I went straight to the ICU and looked for him. There he was, just like the sight that I imagine would be. Groaning in pain..... I hate ICUs. In one corner I saw a new born baby, I can see he/she breaths with the help of a respiratory machine. I can see the heart beating fast.......

Back to my uncle. His heart was actually beating at an average of 130 per minute. Apparently the day before it was averaging at 145 per minute. At this rate, his heart will fail him. They have to operate him fast as his cancer was at a late stage, thus they did not do anything for the heart. It seems as we get older our heart has more issues.

My assumption that government hospital send back their patient early is not true. I apologise to all the people that I unintentially condemn. And my assumption that private hospital holds back their patients as long as possible to make more money is also not true. I also apologise. I salute and thank you all, may Allah show your cause to be just and be of great service to all mankind. (Of course they are black sheeps in any community.)

It has become a norm for me lately to go to the hospital to see the old folks sick or dying. The feeling is something that I cannot describe. How do you tell an uncle, he is dying. All you can do is whisper, that we will pray for the best from Allah.

Take care of our body now, and maybe we will not have to go thru all those sufferings. I pray to Allah that we all shall be spared for any sufferings for all the sins we have done. Ameen.

My confession - Girlfriends.

I have to get this thing off my chest. I do need opinion, honest sincere opinion. I realized that as a human being, I have always thought that I am right for most of the things I did. There are times I admit when I am wrong.

First and foremost, in my whole life I have fallen in love five times. Is that something that is too much, and I am considered a Casanova? Yes I do not deny that I still love all five of them. But to what degree only I know. To say that I love all of them the same, then I am a liar. Of course I have my favorite!

Is it not normal for a person, to fall in love and will always love the other party? I can understand, when you thought you fall in love, then you realize the other party is a jerk or not suitable for you, and you break off your relationship. Then I can say, you stop loving the other person.

But what if you break off due to circumstances, different religion, or parents’ intervention or even due to wrong timing? Nothing got to do with both of you. Both of you were so in love…. then how? Your love died when you find another person in your life? Then sorry I have to say this…. your love was never true!

Yes my views might be wrong. So maybe some of you that is wise may share your opinion with me.

One last question, for a person that had sex with five different women throughout their life, is he considered a Casanova?

Japanese Buffet - A wonderful experience.

I am not a Japanese food enthusiastic. Maybe I have eaten Japanese food in a few restaurants. In fact I had a very bad experience eating Japanese cuisine in one of the leading hotel in Petaling Jaya. The food does not go well with my weak stomach.

About two weeks ago I had the opportunity to eat in Japanese restaurant in Wisma UOA, buffet style. I had eaten before in a Japanese restaurant beside Menara Telekom. At RM 19.90 on a Tuesday of the week if I am not mistaken and buffet style, it was a bargain. The food was comparatively ok to my standard.

So when I went to eat at Wisma UOA I was expecting about the same experience, even though the price was about RM 39 ++ for the lunch buffet. Lunch begins at 12 noon, ends at 2 30 pm, if I am not mistaken.

(By now, I think some of you readers have realized that I am very bad when it comes to names. Even peoples’ name, I tend to forget easily. So it is not surprising that I cannot even remember streets name. Imagine me trying to show the way to a certain location, “ You go three blocks, then you will see a fire station, turn left, and go another half a kilometer, then you will see a junction, then you look for a mosque on your right….. Ermm anyone out there just like me??)

Back to the Japanese food story. This place (hehehe… yes I forgot its name!) the ambience was just ok. And the patrons were mostly Japanese! At least it was, when I was there a few weeks ago. I do feel that I was not in Malaysia when I entered the restaurant. Even had a tough time communicating with the waiters there. That is a minus point.

As usual I browsed thru the foods first. I find the choices are amazing. As I am not a fan of those raw Japanese foods, I went for more that is familiar to my taste bud. One can find lamb, crabs, prawns, fish, duck and of course chicken. So I took a small portion of each to sample. It tasted different but palatable to me. Surprisingly most of it was very tasty.

There were too many dishes that I did not even get to sample those so called Japanese food. Of course they have fruits. Locals unfortunately, or are our fruits the same as the Japanese? As I am an ice cream lover…. It just made my day, when they have a selection of ice cream, but they do not have toppings! Ermm….

Overall, I would recommend that you should at least try it out once. Me, I have to avoid that “green” thing. That can cause a major upset to my weak stomach. Don’t ask me the names of the Japanese foods. I can only remember “California Roll”…….

P/S: Went surfing and got the name…. Saisaki Japanese Buffet Restaurant.

End Of My World.....

My life is passing by like a bullet train..... Whoooooosh...

First when it rains it really pours.... Now I realised that my abode has so many holes in the roofs that it gets really flooded inside!

See ... I am trying to picture the shit I am in lately.

So what shall I do? Yes, I think I will get laid.... soon really soon.... Yeah when I get stuck.... all I can think of is to get laid.....

Dang! Or is it bloody Monday syndrome??? Whatever it is..... I can already smell the kittys. Pardon me ladies.... get out off my way today.....

Cause I am farked up, and I need one....... Ermmm.....

Sacred Love

I thought I fell in love when I was 7 years old. There was this cute girl in my class, and she was so nice to me. No one was ever nice to me then. Later, I learned that that was not love. It was caring from another human to another human.....

So much later I learned that love is sacred...... Love is great.... Love is not for one that freely gives it away .... Once love is given, it is there forever, never to be taken back....

Well, it seems that my view is wrong.

Even after the sacred vows of marriage, love can be broken.... it seems.

But until today, I still believe that once I said those magical words "I love you", it is meant to be with the owner till forever.....

So to those that has never and will never understand me, I dont take back my love. Nor do my love died along the way. Once I love someone, I will love them forever....... But my love, is only for the chosen few. And if someone expect me to stop loving these people, I CANNOT LIE, but to TELL THE TRUTH..... I will always love them.

The truth.

What is the truth?

I have always wondered.

I remembered the story of a boy got caught stealing food as he was very hungry. Was it that everybody wanted to punish him severely? Then somebody came and told all of them something like this, "You may punish the boy, but the one that can punish him must be someone that have never stolen....".

So I was just merely thinking..... why do I make so much fuss when someone is not telling me the truth? I would like to know, is there anybody out there that has never lied in his/her life time?

However, I am still adamant that one must not lie. Then again, it cross my mind, is telling the truth nothing but the truth is the best policy?

And then, there is the question, what is considered a lie? What is half truth? Is there such thing as half truth? Or the degree of the lie or truth??? Ermm... I am perplex...

Now I am wondering, when is someone considered to be a liar? I guess all of us is a liar, at one time or another? That reminds me what the old folks tried to tell me when I was much younger.... pointing a finger to accuse a person he is a liar.... there are at least three more of your own fingers pointing at yourself!

Why dont life have a clear line to differentiate the negative and positive attributes? Like the devil and angel. We human being is the one that is blur, right smack inbetween them. Sometimes we are an angel and sometimes we can be the devil!........

KH

So, what would you like to change or reverse in your lifetime if you
could make changes ?

1) To go to Haj with my late father when I was requested to do so by him. It happened he passed away then.

2) To marry my girlfriend.

3) To finish my double degree.

4) To be able to live a simple life in my village. Or some other remote village.

5) To be able to skip those dark and crazy years of drugs and booze.

6) To be able to be on time when sending my mother to the airport when she went to Mekah. Yes, she passed away the next day.... and I was late, and could only see her walked into the immigration area. My mother passed away much later then my father. She went to the holy land every year, since my father passed away there.

7) To be close to my Maker and understand my religion since I am young.

8) To die young??? Then I would not have all these guilts.........

There you go KH.

Have a great life.

When it rain it pours.....

Looks like it is going to be a tough month. Billing and collection is way below target. The boss is edgy....

The projects to be hand over today is delayed. Tomorrow morning the whole team will be farked by the customer. TPC with DBKL is in the morning too...... So I got to split myslef into two.... I just cant let my team got farked... I have to be with them....

Issues with the Ministry is still not resolved. Hopefully when we meet the minister next Thursday, issues can be resolved. Some how I have the feeling, even my boss will be farked this time!

And that pain in the arse is still there...... Still trying to find ways to "kill" that company.... Why do I feel I am the one who will be the sacrificial lamb???

Thank God, tomorrow is Friday!!! Erm does it make a difference?? I guess not......

I resigned this morning?

Wow, my boss caught me off guard this morning. We went to see the mayor of KL on some business matters.

After introducing ourselfs, my boss told the mayor, "My colleague, DG, formerly worked with me and now has resigned and work on his own". I was taken aback for a while. That was not in the "script" that we had rehearse........

I guess there is always the first for me..... I have not been fired... but has resigned, where in actual fact I am still working for my boss. A good story line for a Hindi movie.

I am in a foul mood.