Who am I?

Just like the title of a movie not long ago. A Jackie Chan movie if I am not mistaken. Somehow he lost his memory.

Well I did not loose my memory. But there are at times I do not really know who I am? And sometimes, I thought I am that kind of person, but the society sees me differently.

Let me try to remember the words my friends use to describe me:

ENIGMA (I had to open a dictionary to understand the word). I think, he described me that way because I was unpredictable.

A FRIEND. That is how most of my friends described me. Not A GOOD FRIEND, but just A FRIEND.

Other than that I have not heard them describing me anything else. This must be because they do not want to embarrass me or due to my reputation. In my younger days, my reputation supersedes me. One crazy daring young arse!

But to tell you all the truth. I see myself as a loner. Does not need any friends to survive. Done lots of crazy things on my own. Travel all over the world on my own... not all over the world la.... Maybe half of the world....

Not to say I do not have friends. During my teenager years, whenever we need to rumble, there will be at least 20 of my friends ever ready to go to battle. And yet, I felt myself to be alone. Then the only real friend I had was one person that does not speak much, thus I do not feel he is around me.

I grew up a coward. Yes, I should know myself right. So how did I become one with such reputation of daring, brave leader..... ermm... it is only an act... or as I say it a mask we wear in front of others. I do not consider myself brave, but rather stupid. I remembered an incident, 2 against 20 and we went for it! That was not brave, that was suicidally stupid!

For years I only see the negative things about myself. Till I reckon one day, if I do not take care of myself, no one else will. I am a loner most of my life. Well at least I am a happy loner.

I use not to understand when a person could not go to lunch on his own. To me its normal. I can have lunch sitting alone at the table, and it does not bothers me. So many times my friends asked me how I can do that? To me it is a small matter, I am hungry, I eat. Alone or with lots of people, I do not really care.

Another thing that I do not understand when my friends told me, how do I make friends so easily? I never told them, but it is something that I do without even thinking. I can talk with anybody. Simple, if you do not know what to talk about, you listen. I realised not many of us want to listen.....

So now I am building up my good qualities. Yet, who knows what mask we wear everyday? Cheers to all of you, and have a great life!